Monday, February 2, 2009

COUNTING CORN DOGS!

OFFICIAL TERMS FOR VARIOUS CORN DOG QUANTITIES AS RECOGNIZED BY
THE ROYAL ORDER OF THE CORN DOG.

1 = "SINGLE" OR "STRAY" 2 = "BREEDERS"
3 = "SMALL FAMILY" 4 = "DOUBLE DATE"
5 = "LARGE FAMILY" 6 = "SIX PACK"
7 = "CATHOLIC FAMILY" 8 = "HERD"
9 = "GAGGLE" 10 = "PERFECTION"
11 = "MORMON FAMILY" 12 = "DOZEN"
13 = "FRYERS DOZEN" 14 = "GATHERING"
15 + = "A PLETHORA"

WHILE CORN DOGS IN QUANTITIES OF FIFTEEN OR MORE ARE CORRECTLY
REFERRED TO AS A PLETHORA YOU MAY DESCRIBE THESE MORE SPECIFICALLY
USING A COMBINATION OF THE TERMS LISTED ABOVE.

EXAMPLE: I BOUGHT TWO HERDS AND A STRAY. = 17

Sunday, February 1, 2009

PERFECT TIMING

It was 11:30 AM on a Thursday. My partner Joe, (Battle Ground Battalion Chief for the Royal Order of the Corn Dog) and I had just completed a job. We were in down town Milwaukie and we were hungry!
As luck would have it we were only two blocks from my favorite corn dog connection. Town Grocery and Deli. I didn't have to twist Joe's arm.
Upon entering this mecca for the meat twinkie on a stick we found our quarry basking in the warm glow of the heat lamps. There with all of the other deep fried delectable in the deli case was a golden mountain of unsuspecting corn dogs all nestled snugly together.
In addition to the plethora of fresh corn dogs and other common deli case fare we spied something new to us. We saw what appeared to be a pair of giant tater tots. They were labeled
"Hash Brown Sticks". They were about five inches in length and twice the diameter of a regular
tater tot. They were sold two for .99 cents.
Temporarily distracted but undeterred by the discovery we pressed forward and ordered up a pair of breeders each. Joe was soon as impressed with this place as I am.
We went out to our work van to enjoy our dogs. As we ate we discovered a thin vein of uncooked batter in a couple of our dogs. At first we were concerned but the dogs were nice and hot. The batter was nice and sweet.
When we were finished we began to discuss the mega tots. Also we recalled seeing an extra bottle of mystery sauce next to the catsup and mustard. As we contemplated what it may have been, and knowing that they served bento we thought it could be teriyaki sauce. Soon we had convinced ourselves that a corn dog isn't all that different from tempura chicken or pork. This meant a return trip inside for another corn dog and the mystery sauce.
The sauce turned out to be sweet and sour. We couldn't resist the lure of the mega tots so we ordered some along with our dogs. We were both pleased with our experiment and the mega tots.
While mustard remains the perfect marriage material, a date with sweet and sour sauce here and there could be a nice change of pace. A little international twist on an old standard.